Outgrowing people we love

I often write about letting go, abundance, goals and dating but one topic I often find myself consumed with is navigating the world in a post-pandemic world...as an ambivert. An ambivert is someone who is extroverted but also has a limited social battery like an introvert, which means they need both—alone time and social time.

The pandemic definitely shook us all, and left us with all if this political and social unrest in the world, i think it's fair to say the world has never been more divided. We are being called to stand for our believes and raise awareness about people who are directly being affected by the ongoing violence in the world. Don't get me wrong! People can have different opinions and still stay friends, but if you're opinions are clearly racist, sexist or thriving on ignorance then NO! You won't be seeing me again.

I have lost a few friendships over the last six years, some because of differentiating values, some because of moves and some due to growing apart naturally. You could say I have become more selective, the concept of "quality over quantity" has never been pracitced around the globe with such intensity. The part Covid played in this? It made us all comfortable being isolated and being alone, it romanticized not needing a huge group or community and that's great! But if you're like me, someone who needs genuine social interaction it can be kind off a nightmare.

Growing up in a dysfunctional environment and being deeply sensitive means I notice everything — tone changes, energy shifts, the subtle vibe of a conversation going sideways. If I sense hostility or inauthenticity, I don’t spiral anymore, I just simply bow out. At this point, I’d rather be alone than surrounded by people who don’t respect me. I’m not collecting acquaintances like Pokémons; I want real friendships or nothing at all.

Over the years I have gotten married, became a mom, published four books, gotten over PTSD and finished my schooling. I have moved forward even on the worst days with the speed of light. I have the privilege of being married to someone who pushes me and supports me even on my worst days. I HAVE HEALED.

But unfortunately healing requires shedding, shedding old believes, shedding comfort zones and people we've held onto just because we don't know what life will be without them.

So, is it okay to outgrow people we love? Yes. It doesn’t have to be dramatic or cruel. Sometimes it looks like prioritizing differently, deepening relationships that feel aligned, and letting others naturally drift into a new role in your life or no role at all.

The takeaway: as we move forward, some people we love won’t connect with us the way they once did — and that’s okay. It doesn’t erase what you shared. It just means the relationship evolves. Not everyone leaves your life; some just change seats.