What in the universe??

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't—you're right" -Henry Ford.

I came across this qoute today, as I speed-read through hundreds and hundreds of facts and opinions on why people love Fords. This qoute made me pause for a second...it resonated on a personal level.

I always do a post closer to my birthday, reflecting on the year past. This year is a milestone, I will be turning 30 and when I read the qoute, I could see my 20 year old self, still clear as day, in my head, no clue on how to get out of the situation she was in or which way was up...no literally she didn't know which way was north or south.

This past decade started with a traumatic event, and I lost most my 20s to it, and if you've read my blog long enough or any of my poems, you know i talk about it. Not because its some messed up form of self-pity, but because writing is what frees me from it. It liberates me.

Reading the qoute, I turned my phone screen off, taking a moment to stare blankly at the sunset reflected upon the ceiling, realizing I have everything she dreamt of...and more .

I love my job so much I can't stop thinking about the next pieces. I rolled over to my side and asked myself "what would she think of where we are today?"

Honestly, she would be shocked! She spent so much of her time surviving when all she wanted to do was write. If I told her thats all she does now and actually lives off of it, she would be ecstatic.

I remember how I used to write fiction back then, and then force my friends to read it and give me feedback. I remember 20 was the year when I first uttered the words "I'm writing a book" pssst....... I never finished THAT book but I did go on to write, design and edit four of them!

I think she would ask me "how did you do it?" And honestly my answer would be simple: just show up as the person you want to be.

That truly is all it took, I started this blog at 24 with the intention of wanting to share my perspective with other people in hopes that someone else will find the advice they need, or a relatable experience perhaps. All it took was to be honest, to show up as the person i wanted to become. I wished for the version I am today, a beautiful family, a job where i get to write and meet interesting people every day. An abundant life that challenges me and keeps me growing. This blog was my official intention and although not everything is perfect there's just so much she wouldn't have ever dared to dream of.

The journey was interesting too, and somedays when I reflect upon it...I cannot believe the hats I've had the pleasure of wearing. The 20 year old version would probably be shocked to know how spiritual I became, that I actually enjoys things like gardening and meditation or that I actually was a YouTuber for a short period of time and made money off of it.... I can see her face srunched up in confusion and mild disgust.

It took losing everything at 20, literally everything...no really, I lost almost every piece of clothing and furniture at one point. When that breakdown happened it felt like the end of my world, but if that had not happened, i never would've left my comfort zone, the city i thought was home and the people that i thought were friends.

Life rarely ever goes as we anticipate but that's the beauty of it.

As I enter the last 3 weeks of being 29....the last three weeks before I can say "that was 10 years ago" i am overcome with gratitude and clarity.

My take away:

When you ask for something from the universe, it will ask you if you are ready to receive it, and when you are, you will have everything you have ever wanted in the blink of an eye. But...you have to be ready, you have to be that version of yourself, before you have any of it figured out.